I am from a Pakistani culture..this is what I hate (note not all Pakistani’s follow this so no hating on Pakistani’s lol)
- It is SO patriarchal
- Women expected to do ALL housework regardless if she has a job and kids to look after
- The man is always right
- Don’t give answers back to elders..its not even answering back rudely..your jusy explaining yourself..once I had someone say to me "If us the elders say milk is black YOU WILL HAVE TO AGREE AND SAY MILK IS BLACK" :O
- The bitchyness at Pakistani weddings "Omg look what she is wearing..the bride is so ugly for the groom" or vice versa "The food is SO cold" …and through out the wedding they got miserable faces and bitching about daughter in laws/ sister in laws (though I am sure non-Pakistani weddings are like this..(mind this occurs to the ones I have been to so may not really be a cultural thing so much)
- The lecture you get from relatives for wearing english clothing..even if your family is okay with it…its not like I wear revealing..
- Lecture you get for not eating roti and curry ..well mind you I prefer eating foods that are low in fat and carbs!
- Once you hit puberty..uh huh people start eyeing you up for marriage..like back of I still feel like a kid!
- If a girl talks to her boy cousin..even just the slightest hello how are you? "OMG SHE FANCIES HIM" "THEY GONNA GET MARRIED" err no, he is my cousin like a brother?!
- Its always about what relatives will think…for example EVERY EID for the past 10 years has been us at home and other people coming over to eat…I mean hello can we once in a while as a family go out on eid?! but fam replies "no what will relatives think?" OMG its the SAME people who come with the same talk
- The only convo you have with your relatives "what are you studying?" Have asked me that a gazillion times already!
- "Oh look at her she is so shy…(insert mums name) you should tell her she needs to visit more relatives otherwise she is never gonna get anywhere in life" ..err I am not shy..your just not making convo with me..and how is visiting my relatives gonna enhance my career prospects in life?! =S
- The women always stare at your chest and talk about it in a cringey way…like mind you can we not get too personal…you don’t talk to me normal..so stop getting so personal? where are the manners?!
- The whole concept of respecting your husband even if he cheats on you and/or beats you..you as a wife gotta maintain the relationship otherwise its your fault…. =O =O
excuse the typos..and I know half of the things aint cultural lol..
I’m American:
-The horrific brutality and tragedy we have inflicted and continue to inflict upon the world.
-Our INSANE greed
-Our rampant and disgusting materialism
-Our obsession with sex
-Our obsession with alcohol
-The fact this country is full of the biggest hypocrites the world has ever seen. They preach tolerance and understanding and say "You shouldn’t tell other people how to live their life." but if you don’t agree with them they slander and insult you and attempt to force you to their way of thinking.
-Our minimum wage is not enough to live off of.
-You have to go into debt and become a slave to a bank to afford ANYTHING.
-We believe in usury to an insane degree. To the extent our economy REVOLVES around it.
-It is considered the pinnacle of hilarity to mock Allah (SWT) and Muslims.
-We’re about to legalize gay marriage.
-We will probably end up legalizing marijuana and other nonsense within the next 5-10 years.
-The mantra of the times is "Do whatever you want as long as you don’t bother anyone else." and no one can see the negative ramifications this stupidity has on society.
-You are your job, hobbies, and possessions. No one cares about any other qualities of a person.
-We think we are always right and it is our duty to police the world.
-We continually support the genocidal maniacs known "Israel".
-The kuffar women dress like whores and the men dress like children.
-We are obsessed with entertainment and escapism.
I could go on and on.
yes what u said is true this is also what i hate about the Arab culture to
lol. your right, that’s not how all Pakistanis are like
My family is pretty different.
Some of the things I don’t like are:
-Like you said, you can’t talk back, even if your not saying anything bad!
-At weddings everyone runs to the table to the food when dinner is served. I mean like the aunties literally push you to get to the table first! like its a race or something.
- At every party, whether its a wedding or a birthday or whatever, theres ALWAYS biryaani! Why?!! Even if its not a party and your going over someones house for condolence, there will still be biryaani!
Thats pretty much all, but it’s still very annoying..
Edit: I forgot to put one thing. In Pakistan girls can NEVER go out alone! There has to be an adult with them, or the guy cousins have to go with them. I remember only once when I got to go somewhere with only my girl cousins when I was in Pakistan : (
*wry smile* (cuz i know ALMOST EXACTLY what you mean)
can i add more to the above list?
(this time from a Pakistani Males POV!)
p.s. dont get disconcerted, my dear sister,
Edit:
here goes:
-Dont keep a beard! you’ll look ‘maulvi’ / Mullah.
PLUS ‘girls’ wont ‘accept’ you when you apply for their hands in marriage
-Watch movies, listen to music, spend more time ‘enjoying’ and in other forms of ‘fun and games’.
-DONT think what the Quran ‘means’, just follow the ‘way of life’ of your parents.
-Peers, and fakeers have lost SOME respect but still, the ‘underworld’ mafia, is VERY strong.
there are ‘baba jees’ who (have beguileed people into believing that they) can ‘literally’ burn you to DUST!
(this is NOT a funny matter when they use black magic to make ur ‘lover’ come to your door step and what not other fitnahs spread by these ‘magicians’.
-Numerology and symbology has gained DEEP roots in the society and culture.
786 – bismillah (no reference from Quran OR hadith proves such or similar numerological ‘claims’
-Guys are SUPPOSED to gaze and ‘flirt’ with girls, call them late overnight and do other forms of zinah of the eyes,tongue,hands and feet.
-Live your life as if you wont die, and die as if you never lived.
-Never take heed from the funeral ‘sessions’ and do ‘quran khuwani’, and also recite Quran on certain ‘occasions’ i.e. chehlam, urs, wedding ceremonies. etc.
-Do recite the Quran (IF YOU CAN),
HOWEVER!
NEVER read quran with meaning and understanding and DONT EVEN THINK about FOLLOWING IT word for word!!
for it would destabilize the current innovations and trends/customs of the modernistic/ secularistic culture and society.
-Follow and propagate the lifestyles of ‘heroes’ as seen in movies and TV dramas.
its not a big deal to find that in NO private entertainment TV CHANNEL in Pakistan shows ANY MAN in a ‘shariah beard’ OR "EVEN" a ‘woman with her HEAD covered!
-Singing is good, pracitse it, clapping for applause, swearing, (gaaliyan), cursing, backbiting, keenah( Envy) and other many Gunah sagheerahs and kabeerahs are ‘SOCIALLY acceptable’
-DO improve your english (never miss a chance to show of yor ‘accent’ and impress others as you intended) and try to speak it in as flambouyant a style as possible.
do intermix urdu and english to be socially accepted in your society.
(for no one speaks PURE urdu OR pure english)
-Learning Arabic or ANY of the sciences of Quran and Hadith is a waste of time.
everone wants Engineers and Doctors as sons and daughters.
and IF you dont rank 1st (or are a top position holder) you are not a good student.
-Do what you ‘wish’ / aspire for,
make the TV icons ur future idols/goals.
watching indian/paki soaps is considered not just ‘NORMAL", but also the ‘need of the hour’.
earn as respect through acquisition of money /glamor and dont care what ‘religion’ has to ‘say’ about it.
(i wont go into details of this state of ignorance)
-hang out with friends, joke around, eat junk foods, spend your time ‘building a good physique’.
u r a good person , if you have conformed to this materialistic and hedonistic society.
-study NOT because you WANT to study, but because you have to .
Knowledge which is FARDH upon every muslim man and women was ONLY that pertaining to the deen.
but people have made ANY mode of education to replace ‘knowledge’ that WAS to fit their modern lifestyles.
i.e. learning to play musical instruments is not bad altogether,
becoming an engineer/doctor matters, what does NOT matter is MORALLY / SPIRITUALLY inept you are at your deen.
WHO CARES whether you go and pray the FAJR prayer?
or ANY of the five prayers?
isn’t Jummah prayers ENOUGH?
we can ALWAYS ask Allah to forgive us can’t we?
(similar and MORE such dreadful hypocrisies are propagated and instilled into the minds of the naive and gullibe).
-The knowledge regarding islam (which was the Complete way of life), is limited to a few thin course books, and that info is only ROTA memorized, no one needs to know WHY they pray?
traditional islam is the NAME of the GAME!
-As a prospective husband you HAVE to have an income of ATLEAST 1-3 lacks per month, or else DIE trying to earn that much income !
any little means your proposal gets rejected (in times of inflation and high food/commodity prices.
(there is not need to go into the ‘hassle of haram and halal’. WHO CARes if you earn a RIBA based INcome?)
-MAINTAIN UR STATUS!!
marry in TOP / ELITE class, and ask for lots of dowry!
-naming the wives after thier own family/surnames.
if a person adopts a child they name him after themselves (BOTH go against divine commandments)
-loot anyone and anytime, you can.
cuz EVERYONE LOOTS you, so
‘its a kill or be killed world’ justifies you to do ANYTHING you WISH that would compell you to satiate ur and your families wishful desires!
(who CARES what their deeds would mean in the afterlife? DUH?
we DONT CARE! k?
dont scare us, of the torments of the grave!
Allah will forgive us anyways!
some rebuttals which i hear from people:
stop SAYING THAT ALREADY!!!
U R EXTREMIST!!!
U R FUNDAMENTALIST!!!
pehle KHUD ache bano PHIR doosron ko kaho!
i.e. first make urself BETTEr THEN work on the principle of ‘amar bil ma’roof wanahi anil munkar’.
For those who do not know:
amar bil ma’roof wanahi anil munkar = do what is righteous and forbade what is wrong/evil.
i.e.
what it means is you CANt call a HARAM act to be haram UNLESS you stop it urself!
similarly if you DONT do some good deed urself you have NO RIGHT to ask others to do good !)
- intermingling of sexes,
women not obeying to the commandments of parday,
men /women not lowering their gazes
financially frustrated society.
seeking to attain the goals set by the ‘media’ into their minds.
- ‘I AM ALWAYS RIGHT’ attitude has plagued all sane minds.
no one stands to correct themselves.
have you heard this?
"main farishta nahin huun!"
i.e. i am not an angel !
- do you want me to continue?
I am from pakistani culture too and i can seriously relate to EVERYTHING you just said.
other things you didnt mention:
- in weddings when they put the Qur’an over the brides head. that is major bid’ah!! and the weddings are soooo OTT ….
- how everyone is so obsessed with being light skinned!!
OMG! all those things u said………………..Exactly What i dont like too lol
gosh u think like me….wish i knew u!
bless! xx
I come from an Italian culture:
- The parmigiana never tastes as good as you want it to.
- The family only gets together to eat or to watch a sports game.
- Apparently we get happy in the pizza when we hey mambo mambo italiano, but that doesn’t always happen.
- We’re not allowed to put our elbows on the table because supposedly it promotes alcoholism.
- I’m the only Italian Muslim I know and every Italian (besides me) I know is Christian
- The soccer team is full of veterans
- People in my family usually say "Hey, wassup!" instead of "Peace be unto you."
- We’re generally compared to the people on Jersey Shore.
- I can never understand the music my Grandpa listens to.
I DO LIKE the pizza though. Mmmmh, Napolian pizza.
"The women always stare at your chest and talk about it in a cringey way"
I’ve never seen a pakistani woman do that.. O.O
And thank God for the law, or they’d also hit you like they did *back home*.
Tea!!!
=~=
It makes my mouth smelly X3
My opinion not particularly culture.
I also hate how:-
-parents are in competition with each other to see who’s kids are the most successful academically – and so the parents put unnecessary pressure on their kids to become doctors/lawyers just to show off to other asian parents!
-women have to do all the house work
-when people are gathered for meals, men serve their food first and women have to wait (even if its the women who spent all day in the kitchen cooking!)
-women have to be a size 0 skinny and if she’s not then shallow asian men won’t marry her. Those JERKS.
That’s all I can think of for now. Thanks for listening.
I love my culture <3.
But i seriously don’t Like Going to Weddings
Im Somali/yemeni.
I agree with you completely.
Pakistani culture is bullcr@p.
i didnt even read it all because im really sleepy sorry =\ tomorrow ill read
but the thing i hate about my culture is arrange marriage -.-
Alhamdulillah i dont have culture :]
All i have is religion.
Salaam.
Woah at the second one o_O
When it comes to women and housework, once in a while the husband helps out in my culture…. <The one and ONLY thing I like about my culture… -.-’ sadly.
What I dislike is;
)
-How they tell us (the girls) over a million times that we can not marry out of culture.
(Btw, many of the young girls these days are too stubborn to listen, i don’t think any of the girls today will marry someone within the culture! Woohoo!
-They arrange the girls with a man who’s older than her by 20 or more, ugh..
-They don’t believe in love marriage, they say it’s a myth!!!!
-They talk to the girls into marriage toooooooo early! Like 13 years old.
-The men don’t even care for their wives, only the first few weeks of marriage, and then war starts.
-.-’ So annoying.
♥
And I’m going to break all the rules
InshaAllah!
I’m Hmong and this is what I hate about my culture
- Everyone is expected to marry Hmong people only
- Women do all house cleaning
- Women are sex slaves to their husbands
- Women are slaves to their husbands
- Everyone has to go to these stupid feasts
- The Hmong styled weddings are boring and stupid
- After giving birth, the women can only eat boiled chicken and rice until 4 months have pass
I’m gonna rebell, marry a girl that isn’t Hmong, and help her do house cleanings.
LOL i am from Pakistan and i cannot stop laughing
Believe me, you made me laugh a lot and my stomach is hurting
Well there are always pros and cons to everything dear, we have to adjust.
Culture vulture fly high
since when,
I agree with you.
My family/culture is wayyy to overprotective of its women.
I completely agree with you. What I hate the most is when my parents say marrying within the family is the best, for example cousins. I told them that is incest, and they don’t believe me. Oh and everyone is practically OBSESSED with being fair skinned. Even if the girl does not have pretty features, if she is fair she is considered to be beautiful. I am only permitted to make Muslim or Indian friends, because my parents believe that way I would not get spoiled. Another thing is that you are not allowed to sit next to your male cousins at all. If there is an open seat right next to my cousin, I have to go get a chair to sit on despite the available sofa seat. I can go on and on about this…
I am not a Pakistani but it’s just almost the same in my culture.
Especially the point that women expected to do ALL housework regardless if she has a job and kids to look after.
Although my husband never treats me like a housemaid (he’s the one who does almost all of household chore at home, even he takes care of our baby better than me)
But his family and also MY family criticize me for letting my husband does everything (except preparing meal, that’s my duty). OMG.. what if my husband loves doing that???
Interesting question. Although I cannot in any way relate to your culture and such restrictions, I do have some annoyances of my own…
I’m American, so-
-So many things promoting sex. TV shows, magazines, movies, books, commercials, school….
-It’s quite drama and gossip oriented. Actress _____ did this, scandal! Actor _____ cheated on _____, scandal!
-Poor health choices. 3rd fattest country in the world.
-On the contrary, for girls it’s all about being thin and promoting ‘thinspiration’.
-Obsessive focus on schoolwork and getting into a top tier college, and all the pressure from ‘helicopter parents’.
-Lack of respect for elders. Here, younger people orient their lives on "Me Me Me" and forget to thank those whom we should respect the most.
-The political frenzy that so many people are wrapped up in and the government. Although, this is arbitrary.
-On the opposite spectrum from those whom are school oriented, thousands of kids are failing in school; and yet (your) tax dollars must compensate for such failure.
-Drug addictions and the uses/legalization of Marijuana.
-High levels of racism and bigotry.
-Religious quarrels, whether it be at school, the state, the nation….
-High usage of vulgarity
-In school, the constant comparisons between peers.
I love the fact that we are a free country, but I do believe there comes a point of too much freedom, only leading to chaos and poor manners.
It could be so much worse, and I am lucky to be living in such a country. You just have to adjust, or learn to make changes..
This may not be a ‘culture’, but with being Irish Catholic..
-The need to always have a huge family. Grandparents had 10 kids, and should be expected to follow in the latter generations..
-Presumption of always drinking.
I think what you are talking about is not our culture but the family system of some people. I am from a very open minded and prosperous family… we’re Chaudhry’s…. If I see your points, most or I should say I’ll oppose nearly all of them because it is not the same with me. There is a vast difference between a Family System and A Culture. You rather not mix them and put forward a very conservative sighting and cruelness of Pakistani men or Pakistanis. The question should have rather been ‘ What are things you dislike about your family system’.
When my paternal grand mother married by grand father before even 1947, she used to wear a veil but after marring him, she used to roam around freely when some women was not even allowed to get out of their houses.
Today, I’m 15 and already told I can marry whom ever I like. The only think I’m prohibited is to avoid being with that guy on public places if I like someone before we get engaged or have told our families even though there is a lot more time to go in my marriage. I can decide what I want to study, what field I want to make a career in or any other decision.
In my complete family, all women are educated, nearly all worked or are working and given all the love that they deserve by their husbands. They help their wives in household and to take care of the children too.
Have a nice day!
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