My friend just asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding but I’m kind of broke so i don’t really know what the rule is here. Never been to a wedding before and never been involved in a wedding.
My best friend asked me to be her bridesmaid but I wonder who pays for the dress she wants us to wear?
I don’t know. Personally, I find this tacky but I am trying to see it from all angles. I am a friend of the bride, I am NOT in the wedding, but invited to the wedding. It seems her wedding party has a lot of people in it, including maid of honor of course. I thought the maid of honor was to take care of these type of expenses and NOT EXPECT/FORCE guests to pay UP FRONT for a bachelorette party that they had NO HAND in planning. I could understand POSSIBLY asking the bridesmaids to chip in if she could not afford the party she has planned, but to then invite additional guests and expect them to have to pay as well, I just was not prepared for this and did not think it was customary, maybe I am wrong, I have been looking this up online and seen many different views but personally I find it bad etiquette.
For ME, the bride was/is a close friend of mine, I say "was" because we were very close friends for a few years then kind of lost touch and JUST got back in touch recently and JUST SAW each other for the first time IN MANY YEARS and she invited me to her wedding (Good timing for us to get back in touch as I am happy to be attending her wedding). She said she would have loved if I could have been a bridesmaid, it was "too late" and that was fine with me as this is kind OF SUDDEN for me and I have been a bridesmaid before and it COST ME A LOT OF MONEY (the dress, shoes, hair/makeup, engagement party gift, shower gift, wedding gift, etc. etc.).
The wedding was to be about 2 months after I saw her and she said she would be having a bachelorette party as well and wanted me to come, I said "of course". I have been to showers, birthdays, parties, weddings, everything but an actual bachelorette party so I figured it would probably be at someones house or at a club or bar and involve music, alcohol and a stripper. I also figured that it would cost me "something", that maybe it would include drinks or maybe not (I don’t drink much anyway so no big deal if I pay for my own alcohol), I also assumed that wherever the "venue" was that it would be already reserved and paid for by the MOH, and if not, if it was just a "girls night out" to a club, that it may involve an admission fee to a club, which I would pay my own way, just as I would any other night if I went out to a club with a cover charge.
What I DID NOT EXPECT was to find out AFTER THE FACT that the plan was to go to a venue which is about an hour and a half away, in an area that is not easily accessible by car, that tickets had to be purchased IN ADVANCE and ranged in price from to 6 depending on "how good of a package you wanted to buy" and the only difference really was the more you spent, you got either 1 to 4 "free drinks" and a "free picture" the fee includes NOTHING but admission. Also, there was to be a cost to ride in the limo which was already reserved and paid for, which had two additional EMPTY SEATS in it ANYWAY, but that’s besides the point. There would also be a "pre-party" where you are expected to bring a bottle of liquor (so I assume the limo will not have a bar in it) and the nature of this party requires a certain kind of dress, which then cost me more money to buy clothes and accessories (something I WILL NEVER WEAR AGAIN-picture something like a "costume party"). So, like I said, I find this all out just a few days before the party when the bride frantically calls me because I have not yet "purchased my ticket", I have to say, I was very turned off by this whole scenario but this is a FRIEND and I do not want to miss her party so I paid for the cheapest ticket and will also have to pay another or more to ride in one of those empty limo seats, and when I get there I will have to pay for any drinks I want-I may drink 2 or 3 drinks but in this place, the average drink is -. It is not even the type of party or venue I would EVER have chosen to go to, not sure how much I will even enjoy it. I don’t want to hold resentments about this but I just felt this was very tacky and did not expect to have to pay all this money just to attend someones party. I will be attending the wedding as well and now I am wondering if I need to bring extra money because when I get there, will I have to pay for my plate or my drinks? I have heard of cash bars at weddings but have never been to one. I am just wondering if this is the norm these days, it seems from what I read mostly, the MOH is supposed to pay for these expenses and the bridesmaids should chip in if necessary, but not any additional guests such as myself.
I guess I just figure if I were the MOH, I would have only accepted the responsibility if I could afford to, and if I could, I would not EXPECT people to pay for tickets and rides to get to the venue and to BRING LIQUOR TOO and pay all the REGULAR expenses once they get there (drinks). If I could not afford to pay for something like this, I would have it at my home, buy the liquor and hire some e
We have been friends for 9 years, not best friends, but casual friends. She asked me a while back to be a bridesmaid, but still hasn’t told me when the wedding is. She did announce it on Facebook, but never called me or anything. I think asking someone to be your bridesmaid requires an actual verbal notification of the wedding date. (especially when I am required to buy plane tickets, car rental, hotel, etc)
Aside from that, I just had a baby. I will still be breastfeeding when the wedding comes up. I can’t afford to take my whole family there. If I go alone, I have to take the baby. I don’t know what I would do with the baby during the ceremony, as I have NO friends out there, just the bride. My husband would have to take time off of work to stay home with the other kids.
Really, financially speaking, and in terms of the new baby, I just can’t go. How do I tell her without really hurting her feelings?
For the bridesmaids and maid of honor in a Miami, FL wedding. Flowers used are cymbidium orchids, stem of hydrangea, and gala leaves. Music: Citizen Cope – Deep
I had no idea wedding planning could be so stressful!!! I have gotten into arguements with my Mom, fiance` and Matron of Honor. Now to top it off my Bridesmaid is not happy with the dress but to me via email she is all fine and dandy about it all. I’m just shocked at all the attitudes and opinions. I thought that since this was a joyous occasion that things wouldn’t be so dang stressful. Its just plain crazy!
I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding. So far I have had to spend about 0-0 between throwing the bridal shower, the bachelorette and getting what we need for the wedding. I spent on my gift for the bridal shower. Am I still supposed to buy a gift for the wedding too? Me and My mom are arguing over this.
Yeah so I ordered my flowers the other day (yes I am using silks)… then realized I only got flowers for 1 bridesmaid’s bouquet, not 2. Forgot to order a MOH bouquet. Yeah AND I forgot 3 guest tables.
EESH!!
So what was your biggest oops during your wedding planning?
Ps this has been the only oops so far so I’m counting my blessings
I am a bridesmaid in a wedding coming up, for my aunt. She is not registered anywhere and said she would rather have gift cards. Where should I get a gift card to? I’m not married and not close so I’m not sure what they would like.
Do you think these shoes are appropriate for a bride and bridesmaid?
http://christianlouboutinforyou.com/product_view.php?id=719