I don’t know. Personally, I find this tacky but I am trying to see it from all angles. I am a friend of the bride, I am NOT in the wedding, but invited to the wedding. It seems her wedding party has a lot of people in it, including maid of honor of course. I thought the maid of honor was to take care of these type of expenses and NOT EXPECT/FORCE guests to pay UP FRONT for a bachelorette party that they had NO HAND in planning. I could understand POSSIBLY asking the bridesmaids to chip in if she could not afford the party she has planned, but to then invite additional guests and expect them to have to pay as well, I just was not prepared for this and did not think it was customary, maybe I am wrong, I have been looking this up online and seen many different views but personally I find it bad etiquette.
For ME, the bride was/is a close friend of mine, I say "was" because we were very close friends for a few years then kind of lost touch and JUST got back in touch recently and JUST SAW each other for the first time IN MANY YEARS and she invited me to her wedding (Good timing for us to get back in touch as I am happy to be attending her wedding). She said she would have loved if I could have been a bridesmaid, it was "too late" and that was fine with me as this is kind OF SUDDEN for me and I have been a bridesmaid before and it COST ME A LOT OF MONEY (the dress, shoes, hair/makeup, engagement party gift, shower gift, wedding gift, etc. etc.).
The wedding was to be about 2 months after I saw her and she said she would be having a bachelorette party as well and wanted me to come, I said "of course". I have been to showers, birthdays, parties, weddings, everything but an actual bachelorette party so I figured it would probably be at someones house or at a club or bar and involve music, alcohol and a stripper. I also figured that it would cost me "something", that maybe it would include drinks or maybe not (I don’t drink much anyway so no big deal if I pay for my own alcohol), I also assumed that wherever the "venue" was that it would be already reserved and paid for by the MOH, and if not, if it was just a "girls night out" to a club, that it may involve an admission fee to a club, which I would pay my own way, just as I would any other night if I went out to a club with a cover charge.
What I DID NOT EXPECT was to find out AFTER THE FACT that the plan was to go to a venue which is about an hour and a half away, in an area that is not easily accessible by car, that tickets had to be purchased IN ADVANCE and ranged in price from to 6 depending on "how good of a package you wanted to buy" and the only difference really was the more you spent, you got either 1 to 4 "free drinks" and a "free picture" the fee includes NOTHING but admission. Also, there was to be a cost to ride in the limo which was already reserved and paid for, which had two additional EMPTY SEATS in it ANYWAY, but that’s besides the point. There would also be a "pre-party" where you are expected to bring a bottle of liquor (so I assume the limo will not have a bar in it) and the nature of this party requires a certain kind of dress, which then cost me more money to buy clothes and accessories (something I WILL NEVER WEAR AGAIN-picture something like a "costume party"). So, like I said, I find this all out just a few days before the party when the bride frantically calls me because I have not yet "purchased my ticket", I have to say, I was very turned off by this whole scenario but this is a FRIEND and I do not want to miss her party so I paid for the cheapest ticket and will also have to pay another or more to ride in one of those empty limo seats, and when I get there I will have to pay for any drinks I want-I may drink 2 or 3 drinks but in this place, the average drink is -. It is not even the type of party or venue I would EVER have chosen to go to, not sure how much I will even enjoy it. I don’t want to hold resentments about this but I just felt this was very tacky and did not expect to have to pay all this money just to attend someones party. I will be attending the wedding as well and now I am wondering if I need to bring extra money because when I get there, will I have to pay for my plate or my drinks? I have heard of cash bars at weddings but have never been to one. I am just wondering if this is the norm these days, it seems from what I read mostly, the MOH is supposed to pay for these expenses and the bridesmaids should chip in if necessary, but not any additional guests such as myself.
I guess I just figure if I were the MOH, I would have only accepted the responsibility if I could afford to, and if I could, I would not EXPECT people to pay for tickets and rides to get to the venue and to BRING LIQUOR TOO and pay all the REGULAR expenses once they get there (drinks). If I could not afford to pay for something like this, I would have it at my home, buy the liquor and hire some e
