Everything For The Bride

My neice was married last June and we just didn’t have the money at the time to buy a gift and we couldn’t atttend the wedding because of my husbands job. (quite a long distance to travel) At the time we looked at the bridal registry and there just wasn’t anything we could afford on it. We have 4 children of our own and my husband is a teacher. In the past when we have given gifts to her and her sister, they have asked…"is this all?" I know their other relatives give many expensive gifts to them. I want to give them something but I feel cheap sending a gift card for , which is really all we can afford? Would you send it or just go on with life and spend it on your own kids?

I’m the maid of honor in my brother’s upcoming wedding, and I don’t really know the bride all that well. She just wanted to keep the wedding parties as family-only so none of her friends would feel put out. Well, the traditional MOH tasks are still falling on me – a woman who hardly knows the bride! (PS there was no turning the job down or the world would end).

At the moment, I’m trying to plan her wedding shower. The small and reasonable guest list has now jumped to over 40 people, very few of whom are actually close friend, and ten of whom aren’t even invited to the wedding!

Personally, I find it super tacky to a) throw over 40 people at me and expect me to finance this party, b) expect gifts from all the party members (even the ones not invited to the actual wedding), and c) invite ten people to a wedding shower -expecting gifts- while making it known that they are not getting a wedding invitation.

I tried to gently tell the bride that we should put a ”no gifts” notice on the invitations of those not coming to the wedding, but her mother got all huffy and insisted that this party was ”payback” for all the bridal showers, baby showers, etc. that the bride had ever gone to. She’d bought presents for those people, now it was their turn to buy presents for her.

While I don’t really want to argue with the bride, I find this beyond tacky and beyond rude. I also heard the bride say she wasn’t doing her wedding the ‘etiquette way’, she was doing it ‘her way’. I’m all for bending the rules, but…come on!

How would you feel if you were invited to the wedding shower of a woman you:
a) didn’t know that personally (say, you were on her softball team or were a distant coworker)?
and/or
b) didn’t receive a wedding invitation from?

Would you attend? If you attended, would you bring a gift? How would you feel about being expected to bring a gift as ‘payback’?

How should I handle this? I’ve made and addressed the 40 invitations as per the bride’s orders, but this isn’t sitting well with me. I don’t want this tacky party to be a reflection of ME.
There are no other bridesmaids. There’s me, and my 18 year old baby sister. She can hardly be expected to pay for anything – she is still in high school! My brother and his fiancee are in their mid-30′s, and still expected my parents to pay for their wedding (which is his second, I should add), host their showers, etc. The bride got a ,000 inheritance from her grandmother specifically to pay for a wedding – please explain to me how one cannot fit in this budget?
This is the kind of control freak woman I can’t stand, and none of this behavior started to manifest until after she had a ring on her finger. Blehhhhhhhhhhhh.

Event planning & party planning has always been a passion of mine. I found an online program & class that gives you a certification in wedding and even planning. I’m thinking about doing this, but is it realistic for this to possibly be a full time career? Or is it something most people do on the side? I know most people work for them selves, but if you wanted to work with a cooperation, how easy is it to find this kind of job? Any info on the career will help. Thank you

Last November, I was in week-end with a very good male friend I didn’t see for years, we got drunk, go back to our hotel room, he started teasing me and asked me if I wanted to take a shower before we go to bed and finnally we had a one night (and morning at his demand) stand. He had planned it all as he had condoms with him.
The day after he told me he will get married in June with his girlfriend. Even if it was a one night stand, I was shocked.
He invited me this week-end at the wedding and I met the bride for the 1st time : a very kind, nice person.
After the wedding, I felt so guilty about what we did that I made a confession to his spouse by email today and got very angry phone call from my male friend, newly husband.
I couldn’t help : I am an honest person and I told the bride she should be carefull not to get a sexually transmitted disease as the man was not very safe for b**job and c**ni.
Was I right to do it ?

ok so i know im only 16, but this is the time when i need to start planning out exactly what i’m going to do w/ my future. i would LOVE to be a wedding planner. i have the people skills, the organization skills, and the patience for it. i’ve always wanted to start my own business (lol no matter what kind) but i think it would be amazing if i could start a wedding planning business. does anyone know how i would go about doing this? i also want to go to college somewhere in the northeast (preferrably in maine). are there any good colleges i can go to in order to prepare for this type of job? where exactly would i start? please help me!

I’ve had a job planning events, but I’d really like to get into Wedding Coordinating….Has anyone ever done this before? What types of fees are typically involved? How would one get started with this?

I am way too young for a job but i was thinking what i wanted to be and wedding planning sounded fun. Is it? And what do you do?

My fiancee and I postponed our wedding for a year due to unexpected finances. Three of my fiancee cousins step out of our wedding party due to the fact that we post poned it for a year needless to say they had purchased their dresses.Through out the wedding one of his cousins tried to take over my entire wedding. When my fiancee returned from Iraq we made deposits and went with the venue of our choice.That cousin became angry.Our postponement notice went out 3 mths before original date and everyone was still in for the following year when we notified. During the month that our original date was supposed be the family got together without me and my fiancee and two of my fiance’s aunts came over to our house to tell us that their daughters were stepping out. Mind you his cousins are in their 20′s and the only one who speaks for them are their mothers. My fiancee and I were not aware of any problems because his family does things behind the scenes.Two of his cousins voluntarily stepped out of our wedding and now expect payment for their dresses.My family and my fiance’s friends say their the ones who chose to step down we do not owe them anything. The wedding for next year is paid for. What do you think? Plus when we asked them for their dresses so their replacements could exchange them no answer just letters from their mothers asking for repayment.
When we asked them if they were still in for the following year they said yes it wasn’t till they were all together behind our backs they changed their minds three months later.we have been inconvinenced in finding replacements our other bridal members did not have any issues. Regardless the cousins won’t talk to us only there mothers also when the aunt was in our home stated being in the national guard was not a real job.My wedding had it been cancelled then everyone would have been reimbursed it was post poned.
We have been told that the cousin is the way she is and were supposed do it for the family. This family seldom called before nor really talks to us.
My fiancee has sent emails to one cousin but she has not responded.The other I stated her mother is sending us the letters but her daughter has not talked to us.The third cousin her mother informed us during the abrupt meeting in our home that her daughter sold the dress and wasnot expecting any form of payment.I will make phone calls today regarding the other two.As far as rectifying this sitution I highly doubt it..These people were kind in the begining so that is why we asked them the minute that they were in two of thier parents were constantly envolved creating a lot of unessecery drama. I can forget that because I do realize that some adults still act like children.Thank you all for your opinions it has helped me a lot. They have all stated they will not be coming to our wedding next year.

Iam planning to quit my present job and open my own studio. How can I improve more about my wedding shots, lighting effects , portraits etc. related to wedding and birthday parties.

I am from a Pakistani culture..this is what I hate (note not all Pakistani’s follow this so no hating on Pakistani’s lol)

- It is SO patriarchal
- Women expected to do ALL housework regardless if she has a job and kids to look after
- The man is always right
- Don’t give answers back to elders..its not even answering back rudely..your jusy explaining yourself..once I had someone say to me "If us the elders say milk is black YOU WILL HAVE TO AGREE AND SAY MILK IS BLACK" :O
- The bitchyness at Pakistani weddings "Omg look what she is wearing..the bride is so ugly for the groom" or vice versa "The food is SO cold" …and through out the wedding they got miserable faces and bitching about daughter in laws/ sister in laws (though I am sure non-Pakistani weddings are like this..(mind this occurs to the ones I have been to so may not really be a cultural thing so much)

- The lecture you get from relatives for wearing english clothing..even if your family is okay with it…its not like I wear revealing..
- Lecture you get for not eating roti and curry ..well mind you I prefer eating foods that are low in fat and carbs!

- Once you hit puberty..uh huh people start eyeing you up for marriage..like back of I still feel like a kid!
- If a girl talks to her boy cousin..even just the slightest hello how are you? "OMG SHE FANCIES HIM" "THEY GONNA GET MARRIED" err no, he is my cousin like a brother?!

- Its always about what relatives will think…for example EVERY EID for the past 10 years has been us at home and other people coming over to eat…I mean hello can we once in a while as a family go out on eid?! but fam replies "no what will relatives think?" OMG its the SAME people who come with the same talk

- The only convo you have with your relatives "what are you studying?" Have asked me that a gazillion times already!

- "Oh look at her she is so shy…(insert mums name) you should tell her she needs to visit more relatives otherwise she is never gonna get anywhere in life" ..err I am not shy..your just not making convo with me..and how is visiting my relatives gonna enhance my career prospects in life?! =S

- The women always stare at your chest and talk about it in a cringey way…like mind you can we not get too personal…you don’t talk to me normal..so stop getting so personal? where are the manners?!

- The whole concept of respecting your husband even if he cheats on you and/or beats you..you as a wife gotta maintain the relationship otherwise its your fault…. =O =O

excuse the typos..and I know half of the things aint cultural lol..